I’m going to be honest and say right up front that I don’t even know where to start with this one. Will I get some grief for my opinions on this matter? Perhaps…but I’m thinking not.

I’m banking on the fact that most people probably see through the facade.

See, it all started a few years back when I kept hearing this word deconstructed on a variety of cooking shows popular at the time. Now, I didn’t give it much attention the first dozen times I heard it, but then I kept hearing it. And kept hearing it.

So I had to actually sit down and see for myself what this apparently new buzzword was all about. It immediately struck me…it was the hipster movement, but in cooking form.

I was taken aback. Nay, I was bewildered. Dare I say, astonished that someone would actually buy into such an absolute load of…well I’ll just leave it at that.

If you aren’t familiar with the term “decontructed”, it’s something (in my humble opinion) that pretentious people do to project the illusion that they know how to cook. It involves taking a well known dish (in most cases) and splitting it apart into its fundamental parts.

For instance, deconstructed chicken noodle soup might be served with noodles in one bowl, chopped up chicken in a different bowl, and the broth served in a small ceramic pitcher so you can pour the broth over the noodles yourself. Perhaps it might contain a sampling of carrots and celery on a separate plate. I think you get the idea.

Yeah, I actually did a little more research and get this; not only does “deconstructed” imply that each part of the dish can be taken apart and served individually (all around bad idea), but it can also be disassembled and reassembled in a different fashion.

Some people call that artistic license.

I call it crap.

As someone else once said, “I truly hope this trend dies a slow and horrible death, until it dies.” I don’t remember who said that, nor do I know if anyone actually said those words, but that’s how I feel. I’m not usually one to be so openly hostile towards a concept, but I feel very strongly about this one. And in no way am I attacking anyone personally. I want that to be clear.

I will never, nor have I ever made anything that could be even remotely misconstrued as a “deconstructed meal”. In my personal opinion, it’s nothing more than a fancy term meant to distract people from the fact that the meal was sub-par by slapping some fancy culinary jargon on the end of the name of the dish.

It might also go a long way in bumping up the ego of said cook who embraces this form of culinary trickery. Just like one form of painting in particular, I feel that it’s nothing more than an abstract art of cooking. We all know what’s going on, let’s not fool ourselves.

It’s like a truly awful painting that someone calls profound, except in hamburger form. Let’s be real here. They both suck. The idea, not the hamburger. Hamburgers are delicious.

Yes, I also have an issue with the term “abstract”, as in abstract art. It all comes down to the fact that the terms abstract and deconstructed are labels used to give a false sense of skill. Once again, that’s my own humble opinion.

I’m trying to put this concept into words, and I’m having a hard time expressing just how strongly I feel about this subject! I don’t know why this makes me so angry!

I think I need to get off the computer now, and maybe go lay on the couch and chill out for a bit. I got myself pretty worked up on this one. Maybe, I’ll have a nice cup of French lavender thé. That usually helps calm the nerves.