Semiserious Chefs

Alright, I finally have the chance to talk (rant) about a subject that I’ve been fascinated with for a good twenty-five years now. Long ago, whenever our family would go to the public library, the first thing I would do was make a beeline to the cryptozoology section. Unless of course there was an open computer with the newest Oregon Trail game available. That game knew what was up.

Not that I knew the scary monster section of the library had such a fancy name as cryptozoology at the time, I just knew it as the section with all the books on monsters and mysteries of the world. I was enthralled with all kinds of phenomena such as the Loch Ness Monster, the Bermuda Triangle, UFOs (although I now have a far different opinion on what I think they might be), and of course bigfoot and all his different relatives throughout the world.

Let me first say that I never intended to write a blog post about bigfoot because let’s face it, If I didn’t have any good pictures or any cute/funny videos, what would be the point right? And in any case, most people don’t care about whether or not there is a big hairy bipedal creature roaming around the wilds of the Pacific Northwest anyhow. In fact, I would say the majority of people in the U.S. don’t believe these creatures to exist simply because of a lack of evidence. I mean, how could a creature this large stay so elusive for so long?

Well that’s what I want to rant (talk) about today. Fair warning, this is going to be a long post. Primarily because it is a huge topic of interest for me and secondly I just plain have a lot to say about bigfoot. Such as, they aren’t limited to just the Pacific Northwest. Many people think this. Sightings have in fact been reported in every state except Hawaii. And I have a story I will share later that happened right here in Alaska. So if you don’t care about anything bigfoot or cryptid related, you should do yourself a favor and click the back arrow located right next to your browsers search bar.

So let’s begin. In a recent post, Vanessa shared her views on camping with everyone, and why it’s so important. Actually. It’s still a draft at this point, so this post might get published before that one does. It doesn’t matter though, I will put a link to it anyway: Camping: Why It’s Critically Important

She mentions in her blog post that she purchased three ghillie suits for the family. It was her birthday present to herself. I was going to surprise her with one for her birthday but she deduced at some point prior to her birthday that that was what I was thinking about doing. So naturally, the backup plan would then be two feet of salami. I know, we’re kind of unusual people.

One sunny Sunday afternoon, we were strolling through the woods (which will remain nameless) when suddenly it became very quiet; as if all the animals had simply disappeared. We got the feeling that something was watching us. It was very odd. Luckily Vanessa had the new phone in her hand with the quick camera select feature and she was able to capture some footage. Take a look below.

Did you see that!? It sounded like the young one made some vocalizations before it disappeared into the woods! And if you look close enough I do believe there is a large male bigfoot peering around that huge birch tree. I can’t say for sure, but if pressed I would estimate the height to be around 8 feet or taller! It’s just like every other fake video, can you believe it?

My point in sharing this cute video is that I’m absolutely tired of all the grainy videos of a man in a costume conveniently walking behind objects so you can just kind of sort of make out that there’s something dark and it might possibly have a human shape. You know, the blobsquatches? Where they’re paraded on YouTube as 100% authentic or ‘You’ll never guess what this amateur such and such captured on camera.’

Enough already! Why can’t we just go out there and get some clear footage? Is it really that hard? Are bigfoots so adept at avoiding humans that we aren’t clever enough to figure out a way to keep ourselves hidden a little better. We can get to the moon but we can’t figure out if there’s really such a thing as the skunk ape, or the Ohio grassman?

Believe what you may, but after reading countless stories on the subject, it appears that the bulk of evidence is being squelched for some reason. It’s almost as if a certain faction of people know of their existence but for some reason or another decided it was best if the general public didn’t know about it. It could have to do with the logging industry not wanting the truth known because if sasquatch were to be discovered, obviously they would be an endangered species and that most likely would put a crimp in the logging industries plans as forest is logged for industry. Just one theory, not saying I buy into that though.

I know there are people out there who have had interactions with bigfoots and they either don’t want to share their stories for fear of ridicule, or they don’t think it would be in the bigfoots best interest if everyone and their mother showed up and started harassing the poor monkey people.

It’s all very odd. Did you know that there are a great deal of UFO sightings that are connected with bigfoot sightings? I don’t know what to make of that at all but it is what it is. Perhaps they are shapeshifters from another dimension. This all sounds pretty far fetched huh? Yeah, it does to me too. And I’m definitely not saying I believe any of this stuff. I’m only throwing it out there because believe it or not, these are some theories floating around out there.

I’ve personally spoke to people who have told me their stories. One individual recounted to me his story about seeing a bunch of huge tracks in the snow on the side of an otherwise rarely used road. At the time he was living in a cabin that was in a pretty remote place in Oregon (forgive me, I don’t know the actual location), and he said the tracks looked just like what you would see on T.V. It was a path that was just meandering on the side of the road.

Another individual spoke of two instances he had while hunting in the mountains of Montana. One involved a time he entered a cave and a horrendous odor came out of nowhere. While he didn’t see anything the time, it could be that a sasquatch was nearby because they are well known for being quite smelly sometimes. The second instance however he did see a bigfoot. He said he was standing near a river when this creature peaked its head out from behind a bush from across the river and stared at him. He got a good look at the face of the thing and said without a doubt it couldn’t have been anything other than a bigfoot.

Years ago, Vanessa worked as ticket agent and a coworker of hers had shared multiple stories that he had experienced as well as second hand accounts from people that he had come across. Take it for what it’s worth, but it seems to me that there are far too many stories with far too similarities to just write off as something that can easily be explained. Sure some of the sightings can be attributed to say, the shadows playing tricks on people or even the misidentification of a common animal such as a bear. But all of them? I find that extremely hard to believe.

If someone was close enough to explain to you the exact coloration of the creature, describe to you in detail how the muscle rippled in complete unison under the fur, and even the particular way the opposable thumb wrapped around the tree it was hanging onto, I would say that would be nearly impossible to debunk. Unless of course that person was straight up lying, how could it be anything other than what we all know to be a sasquatch?

And as promised, I’ll copy and paste the story I shared on another website about an experience someone up here in Alaska had with one of these creatures. And following the story will be a link to the website it’s posted on, so you can read all the follow up comments (which I encourage you to do) from the many different forum members. Some have stated they’ve seen some of these elusive creatures up here, while others think it’s nothing more than the work of punks playing a practical joke. You be the judge and decide for yourself. It was a couple years ago when I posted this.

“I’ll start from the beginning, partially so I can remember as much about it as I can. The man who saw the Bigfoot is a trucker and he makes runs between Anchorage and Fairbanks. We’ll call him “Tim.”

Anyway, my wife and I babysit his two girls while he makes his trips. One night while I was in the kitchen making dinner for everyone, my wife decided to log into our xbox live account so the girls could watch something on Netflix. It just so happens that my avatar is (you guessed it) a yeti.

So the older daughter asked what it was, and my wife told her about it. After a couple seconds, she responds with this, “Oh yeah, my dad has seen one of those.” She said it so naturally it was almost comical, because I did a double take and had to ask her if she said what I thought she had.

Needless to say, I wasn’t expecting to hear that at all. I hadn’t spoken with any of them about my fascination with cryptozoology. My wife makes fun of me when she gets the opportunity btw.

Fast forward to a few days later when “Tim” came back from his trip to Fairbanks to pick up his daughters, I had to ask him about it. And he said yep. It was about three years ago. Somewhat later in the summer, kind of like right now.

He was having a smoke on the back porch of his father’s house off of the Knik Goose Bay road. To be more precise, he said it was close to Hollywood and Vine. Where exactly, I don’t know. But it is somewhere in that vicinity. He said it was surprising because that area isn’t exactly rural.

Anyway, as he was having his smoke he happened to look up into the woods where the yard ended (which was no more than 30 feet away), and he said just as plain as day there was a dark hairy creature looking at him square in the eyes. It was standing beside a tree and had its hand raised up over its head with its fingers around the tree. One thing he pointed out was that he vividly remembers how white the creatures eyeballs were.

As he continued telling me about it, he shared how intimidated he felt, and the only thing he could think to do was to look down at the ground and act like he didn’t notice anything, and just hope that it would go away. On a side note, I am sure that is what most people would do if they were to see something like that.

The whole thing lasted for maybe 8 seconds he said, but it felt like a lot longer. One thing that really got me, was how “Tim” says he understands now why people are hesitant to shoot a Bigfoot. In his own words, he told me how human like the thing was.

Naturally after hearing this, I couldn’t help but ask some questions. I have read tons of reports of Bigfoot sightings throughout the US and some of the things that the reports have in common speak about how thick and barrel chested the creatures are as well as the horrible stench that goes along with them.

What caught me off guard was that he said it was taller and more slender, maybe like a juvenile. There also wasn’t any smell that he could detect. What’s even more puzzling is that there was a fenced in place for their small dogs to run around in, and it was located right at the edge of the woods where the creature was, but oddly enough, the dogs didn’t seem to notice that the creature was standing right by them.

I really don’t know what to say about that, other than maybe they can control their foul odor, like some form of warning to let someone know if they are intruding and that they should go away. I also don’t know if there was any breeze because I can’t remember if he mentioned anything about that. So I don’t know if that could or would play a part in it.

He went on to tell me that when he was younger he was the type that liked to roam around in the woods a lot, but not anymore. The things are definitely smarter than we give them credit for, and they do a great job of avoiding us. I am pretty sure many people have been close to a Bigfoot but just didn’t know it. Humans don’t do a great job of seeing things in the woods if they aren’t moving.

It literally took “Tim” about a month and a half to get up the nerve to go back to where he saw the creature, and told me he reached up to where the Bigfoot’s head was, but he couldn’t reach it. That would make the creature over eight feet tall.

It’s pretty fascinating to me that some encounters can happen close to home. I always view Bigfoot sightings as being something that happens only in the pacific north west. But Alaska definitely seems like a great place for a large bipedal creature to stay hidden quite easily.

Oh yeah, two more things. He told me the experience was one that you want to have, but than after you have it, you wished you hadn’t. I’m pretty sure he was referring to the intimidation factor.

And the night before the sighting, his mother heard something walking around on the roof of the house, and straight up told him, “There’s someone walking around on the roof!”

I am not sure how I feel about it being a Bigfoot, as I have never heard of them climbing up on the roof of a house. On top of that, it seems like it would be a lot of weight centered in a small area. Roofs are pretty strong however.

“Tim” isn’t a story teller and there is nothing for him to gain by sharing his story with me. I fully believe with 100% certainty that he genuinely saw a Bigfoot.

If there is anyone else from Alaska that knows the area around Wasilla and have seen or witnessed any Bigfoot activity please let me know. I am very interested in this subject.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, I am looking forward to reading what anyone has to share.”

-Link to full post on ATS

-Andrew

So in summation, my mind can only come up with two logical explanations that would account for why we don’t have any good quality video and/or pictures of this creature. And when I say ‘we’ I mean the general public. But first let tell you that I’m going to be omitting those far fetched theories such as sasquatch comes from a different planet and they’re only here to observe humans, or that they somehow work with the greys and that’s why there are numerous reports of bigfoots showing up after a U.F.O. sighting.

I’m also not going to say that they are some form of missing link, or that they are a feral race of humans who have survived for hundreds of years with no modern technology. I don’t believe they are any form of bear either. What I will say though is that there is a slight possibility that if there are indeed different dimensions, it wouldn’t be out of this world to say they may be able to somehow shift from one dimension to another if the need arises. That would help explain the many sightings of tracks that just abruptly come to a stop. It’s like the creature vanished into thin air. I find this possibility to be unlikely though.

Before I come to my conclusion though, I need to share two other interesting ideas. It could be that they are an offshoot of the now extinct gigantopithecus blacki. It was a large ape that roamed the earth a long time ago. Although not everything is known about it. This view in my opinion seems a lot less far fetched than many other theories. In fact, it seems quite possible in my opinion.

My last thought on what sasquatch might be, is kind of out there. But again, it’s not outside the realm of reason for some of us. If you know anything about the account of the fallen angels in the book of Genesis you might recall that the rebellious angels came down and shared with man all kinds of knowledge as well as taking women that they desired to be their wives. They had children with these women which ended up being what was called the Nephilim. And we all know how that story ended.

It’s just speculation on my part, but could it be that many thousands of years ago, these same angels experimented with the DNA of humans and animals alike to create hybrid creatures such as what we see in the mythology of so many cultures throughout history? Look at all the Egyptian gods that feature animal heads on humans. Look at all the pictures that portray giant beings with humans that are worshiping them. Perhaps those same angels were trying to engineer a race of people that were made in their image. Sounds eerily similar to something else that was mentioned in the bible doesn’t it?

Maybe I’m overthinking this, but maybe, just maybe that is what we are witnessing here with all these bigfoot sightings. Is DNA splicing (something God has real issues with) going on apart from what we hear about in the laboratory? Could this account for the seemingly half human, half ape creature some of us witness today?

I don’t know, nor do I know if I ever will. But let me give you my closing thoughts on the two reasons I think we don’t have any clear video or pictures of sasquatch. Apart form sasquatch being blurry of course.

First, it could be that they simply just do not exist. Period.

Second, if they do exist I think they are smarter than we give them credit for. I think they are far superior at navigating through treacherous terrain due to their powerfully built frames which allow them to travel far distances with much more speed and ease than we can. They are adept hiders. I wonder how many times someone has unknowingly walked right past one without the slightest clue that a monster of an animal is silently hiding as still as a rock just yards away.

I think in general they prefer to avoid people. That’s not a rule however, some are probably more curious than others. I’m sure the younger ones with less experience are more likely to get spotted by a person. And coupling all this with the fact that there is so much unexplored wilderness out there – especially here in Alaska – they have more than enough room to keep to themselves. I’m sure they hear us coming way before we have a chance to spot one.

So there you have it I guess. It seems like kind of a weak argument to rationalize why no one seems to be able to get any solid video proof of the existence of sasquatch, but it’s really all I can think of. Trust me, I wrack my brain about this a lot. Nothing else comes quite as close to answering the question. It must simply come down to good old evasion tactics, and they are pros at the game. That’s really all I got.

Let me know what you think about the subject in the comments below. If there’s some other theory I haven’t mentioned, I’d be curious to hear about it. If you’ve been lucky, or unlucky enough to have seen one of these creatures tell us all about it, because honestly I would love to read about it. Until next post, see you guys later.